i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Randomize
