I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
