similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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