I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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