are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
