playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize