She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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