i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
