Who did Billy Mays play for?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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