i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
