it hurts more in the daytime
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
