doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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