Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
