If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
