I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
