you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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