atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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