She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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