you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
