i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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