SEEEEXXX PLEASE
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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