is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
