Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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