I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
