He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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