Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
im drinking this country out of the recession.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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