She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
