i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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