it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
