What did we do last night that was yellow?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
NoShamevember. You game?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i out mim tonsoeep
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
