apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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