And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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