i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Everyone says I win the strip club
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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