So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
