Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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