Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
