So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
