you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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