He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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