Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
