Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just sucked dick on a ferry
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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