Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize