if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
is it fun? or sober?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
