yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i think i scared a bird with my dick
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
