my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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