I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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