Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
