I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You pole danced in your parka.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
