just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
