I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
