well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
