Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
