Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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