It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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